Dementia: Changes Ahead

Image result for Regime Changes Picture

Maureen’s enthusiasm for the trip to Nottingham dwindled in the final hour before departure yesterday.  When our chauffeur arrived she was adamant that she didn’t want to see her sister: ‘she was cold and her sister should be coming to see her’.  When I saw that my efforts to shift her from the sofa were causing distress I paid our ‘Black Van Man’ a token cancellation fee and bade him farewell.

Although I was disappointed that our away day didn’t happen I’m pleased with what I achieved with an ‘extra day’ on my hands.  It gave me the opportunity to clarify three important matters.

  1.  In future, I will be using the Alzheimer’s Society for support.
  2.  It is legitimate to ask carers to undertake domestic duties.
  3. Maureen will be consulted in the development of our Sun Room.

I’m meeting the Manager of the Alzheimer’s Society this morning to look at a clock that might help Maureen to regain some concept of time.  This will also be an opportunity to explore the nature of the support that will be available in the future.

When Girl Friday (Maureen’s Hairdresser) arrives at ten she will encourage her to have one of her ‘Pamper Days’.  There will be plenty of other tasks in the diary if Maureen says she prefers my company in the shower.

The roof tiles for our Sun Room arrived yesterday and will be ready to be put in place next week.   Following a number of discussions with our builders, we have revised our plans for this extension to our house.  The last thing Maureen needs at the moment is anything that necessitates changes to her normal routines, without her consent!

The clarification that has now taken place will ease my workload along with the potential for Carer Burnout.   If we are also able to build short holidays into our routine, the need for a Respite Break with Maureen going into a Care Home has to be called into question – that would be a change really worth shouting about!

 

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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