Dementia: You’re Never Alone Here

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One of the advantages of living in North East Lincolnshire is that support is available 24/7 and I certainly needed it at 2 am this morning.  Maureen had already woken twice: at midnight searching for shoes that had been stolen, and an hour later trying to find her missing blanket.  By 2 am she was demanding to be let out as she was being kept here against her will.

Once outside she sought help by knocking on doors and shouting for help as she walked around the local area.  My call on my mobile to Single Point Of Access led to an assurance that help would be on its way as soon as it was available.

Maureen continued on her journey announcing to all and sundry that she was ‘being followed by a pervert’.  She was telling me in no uncertain manner that ‘I had problems with my head’.  I tried all I knew to get Maureen to go back home but as they say ‘she was having none of it ‘.  Then I spotted Jack a young man smoking at the side of his car and summoned his help.

Once I had explained the situation to Jack he introduced himself to Maureen and attempted to guide her back home.   I walked behind them for some time keeping a safe distance.  Then I received a call from Roving Night Carers from our Agency that they had us on their radar.  When they drew up  Maureen was hostile towards them and resisted their offer of a lift back home.   This gave me an opportunity to intervene; so I crossed the road said ‘hello Maureen’ and took her hand.   She seemed very relieved to see me and happy to escape from the ‘two nosy women who were asking her questions’.  The RNC trailed us in their car until Maureen was safely back home again.  However, once we were back in the house I was back to being this guy who messes with her life.

At 7 am Maureen woke up and greeted me with ‘hello Granddad’.  I think she thought I was ‘John-Willy’ as her maternal grandmother often called her husband.   I saw no point in challenging her reality and asking if he was ever known as Jack but I am very grateful to the stranger with that name who was so helpful last night!



About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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10 Responses to Dementia: You’re Never Alone Here

  1. Parnell0810 says:

    I said I’d look for your blog and I found it. I hope you and your wife are both okay, and it was lovely to meet you both!

    I’ll be here any time ❤️


  2. Annie Flanders says:

    wow – the community is so kind to maureen.

    here in the US – if maureeen did that here – the police wouldn’t let you take her home again, but would immediately place her in a facility.


    • Remember Me says:

      Perhaps they are locking up the wrong people then Annie! She wanted to go out and I let her. What right have I got to lock her in? Her brain is dying if we lock her in she will give up!


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