Dementia: ‘Where’s My Mum?’

Image result for Where's My Mom PictureOne of my favourite ways to start the day is listening to the dawn chorus.  As I lay relaxing to the early morning calls this morning another sound caught my ear: ‘where’s my mum?’  This was nothing unusual and is a familiar cry from Maureen first thing in the morning.

I’m always ‘winging it’ when I talk to Maureen about her mum as she had died years before we met.  Thankfully, I have heard plenty about her from Maureen and her relations.  My reassurances that she was in Nottingham were greeted with ‘why has she left me here?’  Then the going got really tough as I risked trying to fill in the gaps in Maureen’s memory; probably overlooking that she was time-travelling back to her childhood.

One of my usual suggestions, when Maureen is missing her blood relatives is a trip to Nottingham.  Her response this morning was ‘why don’t they come to see me?’  Fortunately, one of her sons came at the weekend and my reminder provided some comfort. Then the offer of a cup of tea was well received but it went cold as she tried to sort out her thoughts and drifted back to sleep.

Distracting and redirecting Maureen’s thoughts will become a little easier when she looks out of the kitchen window at a JCB and a Dumper Truck, on what was our patio. This may remind her of the impending Day Room.  She was rather concerned yesterday about being able to play in the garden whilst building was taking place.  However, she suggested she might be allowed to play in the mysterious Jamie’s garden for the next few weeks.

Thankfully, a short while ago I found a way of changing Maureen reality by whistling ‘You Are My Sunshine’.  Once I got into full throttle she stirred from her slumbers, gave me a big hug and told me what a good dad I was!

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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