Dementia: It’s Another ‘No Brainer’

When I eventually made it to my brother’s Nursing Home yesterday afternoon he was dozing. His wife was sat at his side showing her absolute affection for her dear husband.  As always she was keen to tell me how well John was looked after and drew the inevitable comparison with his dreadful experience in a previous home.

My visits to Coventry always leave me wondering about standards in Care Homes.  This morning I’m wondering why my mum sleeps to avoid boredom in her place and John has an entirely different experience. My sisterms in law singled out the Activities Organiser as someone who does so much for residents and their families. She mentioned how much money she raises to keep the stimulation going week after week: last week a wonderful singer etc etc.

As I approached mum’s Care Home I met her Activities Organiser. She was catching a bus for a day out with her family. She is a volunteer who I’m  sure does her level best. 

During my visit to mum’s Home the Manager  appeared to be inducting a new member of staff.. The Manager at my brother’s Home was helping a Steel Band to set up whilst trying to eat a picnic lunch.

In the words of my Buddhist friend Dorde it would be a ‘no brainer’ if I had to choose whether to put Maureen alongside my mum or brother. Why on earth would I want her to be sleeping all the time because she was bored? 

I can do little about mum’s  situation. It would be wrong to label the home on my snapshot on one day at the weekend. However, I see no reason for the television to be on constantly in the lounge whenever I’m around. A fellow visitor told me that ‘Jeremy Vile’  was on the other day: I hope mum was asleep! 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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