Dementia: ‘I’m So Frightened’

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When Maureen lay on the sofa yesterday evening following an afternoon in the sun she said to me: ‘I feel so frightened’.  She went on to tell me how difficult it was to do simple things and how her confidence had been shattered.  I tried to reassure that I would always try to help her just as she had done for me during difficult times in my life.

I didn’t like to tell Maureen that I had been struggling to understand her presentation for most of the day.  It was late afternoon before I grasped what was behind the changes in her reality when she said ‘I didn’t know where I was until I saw all that loosestrife; then I knew I was in my garden’:

Then she revealed what had really spooked her yesterday.  A new carer had turned up and grilled her with questions during the morning.  Maureen thought this was a Memory Test in the preparation for readmitting her into a Care Home.  This may have sparked a challenging evening and a dreadful night.  Thank goodness I have decided to take her with me to London on Friday rather than recreating her worst nightmare: locked up in a strange place!

It was after 3 ‘o’clock this morning before Maureen was able to lay down on the couch.  I had listened to her monologue via the Baby Monitor between brief naps as I lay on the bed in the spare room.  Fortunately, it is a good day for grounding Maureen after a period of abject confusion.  It is likely that the presence of Girl Tuesday along with my sister and her husband will be just what the doctor ordered: with her jailer becoming her husband once again.

The odds of being able to persuade Maureen to get into the chauffeur’s car on Friday have lengthened. If this hot spell continues I think the odds will go out even further.  At 5 am I am still The Enemy with abuse being hurled in my direction whenever the opportunity arises.  My inclination at the moment is to keep my money where my mouth is rather than bringing about Maureen’s worst nightmare!

At 5 am I am still ‘The Enemy’ with abuse being hurled in my direction whenever the opportunity arises.  However,  with regard, to the trip to Lond, n my inclination is to keep my money where my mouth is rather than bringing about Maureen’s worst nightmare.  Just as I am about to post this Blog Maureen has asked me if she can share my bed as she is so frightened!

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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