Dementia: A Stupid Mistake

Image result for A Silly Mistake PictureWhen I finally decided to get up this morning, very tired after a difficult night, I thought I had made a stupid mistake during yesterday’s meeting with our Key Worker.  On reflection, I had spent too much time chatting about what had happened during my Respite Break, rather than what lay ahead.  None of that conversation will help my aching body and tired mind this morning.  Then as I woke up it came to me: I don’t need additional carer sits today or tomorrow I need domestic support.

A simple phone call to the Agency requesting that Girl Saturday and Sunday arrives at 11 am rather than noon could make a significant difference to our weekend.  We will pay for this additional time as we need help with domestic duties rather than additional sitting time with Maureen. The time has come for the Resident Chef to hand over Saturday and Sunday dinner to The Girls.  My only problem will be getting through on the phone as this particular Agency has not acted on a phone message I left earlier in the week!

As my Admiral Nurse reminded me on Friday we never know what is behind changes in Maureen’s presentation.  Last night was a belter with Maureen awake every couple of hours with extreme levels of fear and confusion.  She has just stirred again seeking confirmation that we are married and enquiring what time I will be going to work.

I’m hoping that complimentary therapy of a different kind might ease things a little during this challenging phase of Maureen’s condition.  She often says she feels useless at the moment, so I’m taking every opportunity to thank her for all sorts of things: from her pleasant demeanor to how stunning she looks since she had her hair trimmed in Ashgrove.  Unfortunately, I have mislaid the reference for this approach and hope readers remind me of the author of this strategy to supporting someone with dementia.

One obvious activity today is to dig out our wedding video and photos.  It will be interesting what memories this might evoke for Maureen: it will certainly remind me of how stunning looked on our Special Day.   I’m pretty sure we have both got our outfits and wonder about a dress reminder of our Special Day – now that would really be a special kind of a distraction if the going gets tough today.  How on earth I shift her from looking for her mum and grandmother this morning is another matter!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: A Stupid Mistake

  1. AmazingSusan says:

    “hope readers remind me of the author of this strategy to supporting someone with dementia,” I don’t know the reference, but the idea has given me an idea for a post along the lines of “Say ‘I’m sorry,'” which is the “S” in BANGS (http://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/10/16/im-sorry-is-hard-but-it-may-also-be-the-most-powerful-part-of-bangs/). “Flip” sides might be “Say thank you,” and “Show appreciation.”

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