Dementia: Fond Memories

With so much going on in the last few days I have almost forgotten my day in Coventry last Saturday.  As I was shopping in the Foleshill area I bumped into a ‘young man’ (now 57) who used to attend a Youth Club I ran in the 80’s.  Griff was a member of a posse that led to Reggae becoming popular at our infamous Friday Night Discos. In those days some local lads christened me ‘The White Rasta’ because of my affinity with ‘The Boys’ and my frequent use of West Indian slang. Griff asked me to pass on his good wishes to my eldest daughter who provided me with a lovely lunch and hour later

As always I had a great time with my daughter and her family.  Once again, the girls provided constant entertainment.  I was hoping to hear the younger ones latest rendition on her karaoke machine but she was too busy competing with her sister for the IPad.

The eldest daughter of ‘The White Rasta’ is a chip off the old block with her taste in music and I know she is rather fond of this one from ‘Brother Bob’:

When I returned to my hotel, on Saturday evening, I got chatting to Agatha (pictured below)  a  Polish academic. who had been attending a Conference at Warwick University.  She had an autistic son and we found we had many struggles in common.  Her approach to supporting her son was inspiring and I may well have kept her up a little longer than she anticipated after a tiring day.

My fond memories of my trip to Coventry are fading fast with so much going on here. However, what is difficult to forget is how my mum and brother live in Residential Homes where space is at a premium.  There isn’t enough space to ‘swing a cat round’ as my mum sits in her chair side by side with fellow inmates.  My brother is slightly better off but ‘overcrowding’ is still a feature of his domain.  Maureen had more room to walk around in Ashgrove but I’m not surprised staff struggled for an hour to get her in from the garden even when it was raining!

A fond memory from yesterday: after the District Nurse declared all was well down under; Maureen said: ‘I hope she falls off her bike after what she has just done to me’.   Maureen is certainly brighter this morning and there are positive signs that things are moving along nicely if you know what I mean.

It’s timely that I’m meeting with my Admiral Nurse this morning.   We need to consider how I can get a break from my role without spending days tidying up the ensuing mess whenever Maureen goes into a Care Home!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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