Dementia: The Aftermath Of Respite

Image result for Problems with Respite Picture

It is almost three days since I collected  Maureen from her stay in Ashgrove Care Home and I still clearing up the mess.  Thankfully, the visit of Rapid Response on Sunday night has faded in her memory as has the aroma in the bathroom.  Most of the casualties from that little episode have been washed and are ready for use again.  However, there remain several  issues to clear up from our time apart:

  • Clarifying how Maureen presented when she was in Ashgrove
  • Establishing how Maureen came out of Ashgrove in such a poor state.
  • Reclaiming certain items of missing clothing
  • Seeking a refund from the provisional bill

Every time Maureen has been into Respite Care I seems to spend ages clearing up.  Once again, I’m chasing my tail as I try to clear up issues that should never have happened in the first place.  The whole process leaves me with real concerns about using Care Homes for a respite break in the future.  It’s fortunate I’m meeting with my Admiral Nurse on Thursday and we can consider better ways forward for both of us!

At half-past five this morning I’m being stretched to the limit as Maureen tries to make sense of her world.  She wonders where the others have gone and why she has been left here by herself?  An offer of a cup of tea is not doing it this morning – all I can do is leave her to rant: good morning Mrs Dementia.

My call to Single Point of Access at 6.30 will lead to a referral to District Nurses so that Maureen’s bowel movements and skin condition can be kept under review.  Once again, I count my lucky stars that we moved to North East Linconshire where there are systems in place to support those with dementia remaining in their own homes for as long as possible.

‘Sleeping Beauty’ has dropped off again and Susie is resting on the window sill.   It’s a beautiful morning so I’m going to tidy up my vegetable plot and keep in touch with things upstairs via the baby monitor.

Heartbreaking:  at 8 ‘o’ clock  Maureen in tears as she grabs me as I return from our garage saying: ‘ I thought you’d left me’.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: The Aftermath Of Respite

  1. anniegoose says:

    i’m curious why she seems to end up constipated when she goes to these places? makes me wonder about their level of care.

    where my MIL is – they watch her bowel habits like a hawk – and are quick to notify family members if there is a problem.

    blessings

    Like

  2. anniegoose says:

    my hope is that you will be able to find the explanation for the constant constipation when she goes to the homes, and also find a quick resolution. blessings

    Like

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