Dementia: Fear, Hallucinations, and Recriminations

Image result for Fear Hallucinations recriminations Dementia Picture

The last 12 hours have been the most challenging I have experienced since Maureen’s diagnosis of dementia.  I have tried everything I know and in the end, I have left her to rant.  This morning after a couple of hours sleep I have woken up to someone who has been too frightened to go to the toilet during the night. However, following my guidance to the utility room she has immediately returned to the attack.

I have already alerted Single Point of Access to the need to speak to our Duty Worker this morning.  We will need to rule out a UTI and I will contact our Medical Centre when they open for business.  Unfortunately, the dip test is only a guide and our G P recommends waiting for the Lab Report before I battle with Maureen over further medication.

Things went from bad to worse yesterday. the beauty therapist phoned to cancel her visit as she had double booked and decided to refer us to a colleague.  Maureen was very unhappy that I left her with Girl Thursday as I went out to meet our Key Worker to review our Care Plans under cover of a shopping mission.  As I left my disgruntled wife said that she ‘might not be here on my return’.

Despite following helpful suggestions to address Maureen ‘wanting to go home in the afternoon and evening made little impact.  Nothing shifted her from the position that ‘she didn’t live here and I was keeping her here against her will’.  Towards midnight her fear was palpable as she had ‘nowhere to sleep, no female company and lots of strange men around’.

This morning I’m being accused of all sorts of things and ‘should be ashamed of the games I’m playing’.  There are links to the war and my parents being ashamed of my behaviour.  I’m finding it difficult to keep up with Maureen’s reality and I’m trying to stay out of the firing line.  My feeling is that she is waiting for an opportunity to escape from ‘her prison’ and it is one of those occasions where I will let her run it off.  Such positive risk taking is preferable to creating further distress by locking her in and treating her like a child.  It will be interesting to read the Occupational Therapist’s view on this matter!

To Do List This Morning:

  • Progress checking for UTI
  • Seek advice from Maureen’s Care Coordinator on how to respond to her current presentation.
  • Request our Key worker to put yesterday’s plans on hold and arrange immediate additional support.
  • Relax in the Sauna and Spa at the Leisure Centre.

Footnote: Sincere thanks to those who used my Blog and Twitter to support me during a difficult night.  It’s just Amazing how much Blogging helps when you are dealing with dementia.  I wouldn’t want to risk any further Safeguarding Issues by naming anyone!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: Fear, Hallucinations, and Recriminations

  1. anniegoose says:

    i’m keeping you on my prayer candles, paul. try to stay strong.

    Like

  2. Henri says:

    Oh boy! That is certainly scary for both of you. I do hope that you were able to get in the additional help and get out of the “firing line”. I am not an OT, but I would definitely get the UTI check and see if there are any other people that she would respond positively to, then she should be around them. Even among this great trial, the way you speak about her – sensitively and respectfully is incredible. Sending you a huge hug.

    Like

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