Dementia: Opportunity Knocks Today

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Our Key Worker is due at two this afternoon to begin the process of reviewing our Support Package.  He is the only professional that Maureen remembers although she has recently reverted to calling him ‘Mr. Fish’ after months of referring to him as ‘Ginger’.  I’m not sure what she will call him after today’s visit but I expect his trademark of treating us with dignity and respect will remain.  As Maureen lacks capacity decisions have already been made about her future care and accommodation at a Best Interest Meeting, almost a month ago.

I find it a little concerning that I have yet to receive the minutes of the BIM.  However, the decision for Maureen to remain at home was unlikely to have surprised any of the attendees.  The meeting also tidied up our relationship with members of the Multi-Disciplinary Team: with the Home Treatment Team and Maureen’s Care Coordinator bowing out of proceedings.  The former I understand the latter a disappointing feature of Vascular Dementia i.e. no treatment and discharge from the Memory Service.

There is little doubt that Maureen’s dementia continues to progress.  What is unclear at the moment is whether infection or a dip is behind her current presentation.  However, there is clarity about one issue our current Support Package is inadequate and continues to put me at risk of Carer Burnout.

Maureen made a comment very early this morning that is a sobering reflection on her situation.: ‘No one really wants me: not even you.  I know you need a life of your own and have to pay people to look after me.  I wish I could go somewhere else to be looked after by people who really cared about me’.  She is in no doubt about those who care about her and those who say they care about her.  What she doesn’t understand is that self-preservation may mean that I may need to defect to the latter camp unless an improved Support Plan is forthcoming. Then she will be looked after by those who are paid to care for her!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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