Dementia: A Rude Awakening

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The visit of my eldest daughter and her family yesterday gave me a reality check which I turned into a rude awakening:

  • I can no longer be the perfect host and provide homemade food for visitors.
  • I am no longer able to keep the house clean and tidy.
  • I need to do something about the constant pain in my back and legs.
  • I should not be having discussions with builders when we have visitors.

I will be apologising to our visitors this morning for getting it wrong yesterday.  They had told me ‘not to bother about food as they would go to the chippie’.  I had soldiered on in denial trying to return to the good old days.  To make matters worse I then rushed into discussions with a builder about making our house suitable for our needs.

Our Key Worker has arranged to visit in a couple of weeks to review our Care Package.  I need to think very clearly about the help we now need and how our house could be made more dementia friendly.

The Easter holidays will need to be a staycation: Maureen current energy levels and my aching body do not need long car journeys.  If we have further visitors over the holiday period I need to remind myself of yesterday’s ‘rude awakening’ and not get carried away trying to reconstruct the good old days!

Update:  Two hours after I posted the above Maureen kindly brought me a mug of tea.  It was rather strong with two tea bags in the mug and an additional four on the tray.  This is the first time she has boiled the kettle of her own volition for some time and is a further reality check on the progression of her dementia.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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