Dementia: Seeking Respite At Madyhamaka

I will try and persuade Maureen to accompany me to the Buddhist Meditation Centre at Pocklington today.  Airport Travel is on hand to chauffeur us for the short break that we both desperately need.  The thought of being served wonderful food along with compassionate people in beautiful countryside lifts my spirits and eases the pain in my aching body.

Maureen was reluctant to go anywhere yesterday: she appeared to greet my suggestions for a day out with suspicion.  What she doesn’t understand is that time is running out for us to demonstrate that there are there are ways of me recharging my batteries without putting her in a Care Home.

My discussion with the staff at Homefield House went well yesterday and we have a plan to introduce Maureen on Friday that aims to minimise her distress.  It is very different to similar facilities I have seen in the area.  As our Key Worker implied it is akin to a place where Ladies Lunch with waitress service and sherry served with meals.  Despite its many positives, it is a Care Home and I anticipate that Maureen may see what it is and react accordingly.  I am also unclear whether the level of stimulation that Maureen needs will be available from fellow residents.   All we can do is stick to our ‘cunning plan’ and react accordingly.

If I am unable to persuade Maureen to take a break at Madyhamaka we are likely to face the one size fits all approach to dementia – Respite in a Care Home.  The Best Interest Meeting is likely to remind me ‘that I’m not a robot’, as our Care Coordinator pointed out the other day, and want to ensure specific arrangements are in place so that I continue to have the energy to look after Maureen in our own home.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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