Dementia: Procrastination and Patience

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We have slept together in the marital bedroom for most of the last 8 hours.  It wasn’t a bad night as Maureen only woke a couple of times.  When she woke the second time, convinced she had lost Maeve from sleeping beside her, it took over half an hour before she accepted she had been dreaming.  It wasn’t surprising she had been thinking about her ‘missing’ granddaughter as there had been lots of chat about her during Sunday afternoon.  Her dream is a prime example of her inability to recall as was her distress just before we turned in when I was out of sight for a few minutes and she said she hadn’t seen me for hours.

Within a couple of hours of their departure, Maureen had no recollection of her visitors on Mother’s Day.  In fact, she asked me if her son had been as she couldn’t remember seeing him.  How sad that she had no recollection of the couple of hours she had spent with her son, his wife and their four children.  Her focus on Maeve had arisen because our visitors were on their way back home from her 18th Birthday Party.  It is also sad because Maeve used to be a regular visitor when her mother was alive and she hasn’t been here for some time.

Maureen is still at home because the Care Home I have in mind for a Resite Break was understandably unable to carry out an assessment yesterday.  I have an appointment to meet the manager at 11 am to discuss how we can encourage Maureen to take up temporary residence with the minimum of distress.  Procrastination is indeed the thief of time but patience has to be paramount if I am to get the break I so dearly need!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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