Dementia: A Silly Mistake

Image result for A silly mistake pictureI made a silly mistake yesterday and paid a heavy price. Maureen’s presentation in the afternoon and early evening became as challenging as I have ever experienced.  I should have spotted the signals early on when she just couldn’t settle down and said she didn’t know what to do.  Unfortunately, I ignored her as I listened to Coventry City’s attempt to prevent the inevitable relegation to Division Two.  Then once we were 3-1 down the battle here began to intensify until it became almost unplayable as the evening progressed.

Maureen’s first solution was to try to escape from her confusion and a neighbour brought her back as she strayed onto his drive.  Then she was trying to find non-existent children that had left their belongings here earlier in the day.  We even called in next door to see if the missing charges had found their way there: despite being aware that their offspring had long left home.  On our return home I examined what Maureen was anxious to return a blanket wrapped around a small tray, the contents of a large box of tissues, and a shoe.

Confusion and abusive accusations then reigned for a couple of hours as Maureen hurled abuse at her despicable husband.  Most of what was said had no significance or relevance to our lives together – Maureen appeared to be time-travelling through deeply held resentment from a previous life.  During a break in hostilities, I phoned a family member to suggest that a call might help to ground his mother in a more supportive reality.   However, exhaustion had taken over as Maureen had taken to the sofa and was fast asleep when I returned downstairs.

One further lesson from early this morning is to ensure that Maureen never sleeps in total darkness.  She awoke this morning terrified that shapes were animals that would do her harm.

If things go according to plan today Maureen will be with Girl Every Other Sunday from noon until two and I will bask in the Spa at the Leisure Centre.  A siesta in the afternoon should help us both.  The most important thing today, however, is to avoid the silly mistakes of yesterday!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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