Dementia: The Stark Reality

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The joy of Wednesday morning has been replaced with a couple of days of stark reality.  Just as I thought I’d got vascular dementia in the bag, it escaped and the stark reality of Maureen’s condition hit me straight between the eyes. My optimistic plans of Wednesday morning were a pipe dream and are long forgotten aspirations of someone who has lost the ability to recollect.

Today Maureen’s early morning mode is fear and confusion.  Earlier on she was asking who the young woman was who came the other day.  She has no recollection of why we might need a Wednesday night sitter and says she has never met the woman before, despite it being her third visit.  Yesterday morning she told me that she thought her diagnosis of dementia ‘meant she was mad’.

It was a little reassuring when Maureen’s Care Coordinator reminded me yesterday that with vascular dementia just as you think you’ve got it in the bag it changes and you have to get used to a new reality.  She also asked me if I had heard of ’emotional incontinence’ as it could be behind aspects of Maureen’s presentation, and I confessed I hadn’t.  However, there is one thing I generally have in the bag – how to distract and redirect when Maureen is upset: Bocelli is the man of the moment:

Although I recognise that his exalted position could change and I’ll have to find the next idol for a mature lady: thank goodness for YouTube!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: The Stark Reality

  1. AmazingSusan says:

    Bocelli was one of Mom’s favourites, we listened to him mostly every night.

    Like

  2. Linda Walker says:

    Your comments remind me of how the journey with dementia is unique to each individual. I had never heard of emotional incontinence – I am already thinking of people I care for at work – this describes their behaviour – be interesting to see what I can do to help.

    Like

    • Remember Me says:

      I want to do a little more reading and thinking about’emotional incontinence’. At the moment I have reservations about the concept as I fear the medical model is its driving force and this is not an approach to dementia that I favour; as you will have gathered from my blog.

      Like

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