Dementia: ‘It Is Worth It!’

Maureen was complaining this morning that ‘leaded windows make this place seem like a prison’.  When I suggested that we could change them she said ‘it was not worth it’.  Her comment led me to think what is worth trying to change on this hazardous journey?  Many argue that dementia is a progressive condition and decline is inevitable: others see that as a negative approach which Kate Swaffer has termed Prescribed Disengagement.

Anyone who follows this blog will know where my money is and will have read my feelings about Prescribed Disengagement.  Perhaps there is little point in having clear glass in our windows but it is worth trying to move some things forward:

  • I realise that ‘wanting to go home’ is likely to feature in Maureen’s dialogue day after day so I’m going to give this approach a go for a while:

  • After 25 years together I’m trying to learn more about Maureen’s extended family – her mum was one of ten.  The search is on for photographs of Maureen’s relations and hearing her talk about her family is fascinating.
  • Today’s planned expedition to Nottingham has been postponed and our chauffeur has been stood down.  Maureen is far too confused to take her away from the home base at the moment.
  • I hope to make Wednesday night a fixed feast for an overnight sit as soon as professional staff and the relevant Care Agency are open for business this morning.
  • I need to seek medical advice over tightness in my shoulders and legs with a return to Tai Chi imminent.
  • To have a chat with Girl Monday this morning about how Maureen has been over the weekend and adjust our approach accordingly.

It is worth it to progress the above irrespective of how you view dementia.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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3 Responses to Dementia: ‘It Is Worth It!’

  1. AmazingSusan says:

    Yes, flexibility is key.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mary Smith says:

    Thanks for sharing the video. I’d understood when dad said he wanted to go home he wanted to be in a place that was safe and secure and he knew who he was and who everyone else was. I hadn’t ever thought to tell him I didn’t want him to go, that I wanted to be near him.

    Like

  3. Remember Me says:

    What I am saying to Maureen that I want to be with her wherever that is.

    Like

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