Dementia: A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed!

Image result for A Friend in need is a friend indeed pictureMaureen decided to take matters into her own hands on New Year’s Eve and find her own friends.  She had a great time in the morning in Freeman Street Market where she wandered at will chatting to stallholders.  When we moved onto Aldi she was equally at home as we topped up on basics.  We went with the flow in the afternoon when one of us left a tap on in the kitchen.

Maureen couldn’t cope with my frustration at the water level in the kitchen and fled the scene.  I found her in next doors garden and our neighbour coaxed her back home.  Then she walked out again; reluctant to have anything to do with mopping up – something she was adamant was not of her making.  I tracked her in the car for a while before shepherding her in the direction of home. Unfortunately, she took a wrong turning and another thoughtful neighbour steered her back home.

We declined to see the New Year in and were in bed before 8 pm.  However, some kind neighbours decided to wake us at midnight with their firework celebration of the New Year:  I’m not sure we regarded them as our friends!

I’m clearly not Maureen’s friend this morning.  She woke suddenly at half past six, shot out of bed, seeking ‘our little girl’ and went on to tell me that she’d ‘been in a black fog for two months’ continuing with ‘you are nuts and should have your adventures when you were at school’.  It is difficult to predict what Maureen would call those who are driving the need for a Best Interest Meeting on Friday.  We all know the law -The Mental Capacity Act included – can be an ASS but I would think ‘NUTS’ would be too kind for those people behind the need for such a wasteful formal gathering on Friday!

All I can do this morning is give Maureen space and hope that a cup of tea, later on, will clear the air so two really good friends can enjoy a peaceful day together.  I also need to advise professional staff, once again, to stay away from our home as Maureen is still reeling from our social worker’s visit on Friday.  She keeps asking ‘what did that ginger haired man want: what was he trying to find out?’

My priority remains to minimise Maureen’s distress. I need to try to try to calm her down, help her feel safe and ensure that we are only visited by familiar faces for a while.  Thank goodness Girl Monday is here at 10 am: she is like family to us!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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One Response to Dementia: A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed!

  1. I hope your day is a calm and peaceful one. As a professional, I always try to remain mindful of the impact of my involvement with people with dementia. It can be tricky to judge, so I am guided by care givers as to what they will be able to manage. It can feel like an interrogation, and if the person lacks insight, can be extremely distressing.
    You’re doing an amazing job x x

    Liked by 1 person

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