Dementia: You’ll Never Walk Alone

Tom Schuller now a Professor has always encouraged me to share what I have learned on this blog.  He was a Senior Lecturer when I was one of his students at Warwick University almost 30 years ago.  His supportive guidance eased me through a Masters Degree in Lifelong Learning and the Management of Change.

This Blog has always been part of my coping strategy; it has aimed to  be an open account of our journey.   On occasions, I have pushed my luck and may have shared a little too much detail: thanks to the goodwill of others I have got away with it.  I hope that readers will understand my need to depersonalise my posts from now on and not use names or photographs without the prior agreement of the subjects.

To return to Tom’s challenge I ‘walked through a storm at 2.30 this morning’ whenMaureen didn’t know where she was; who I was, and was terrified.  As always I accepted her reality and tried to give supportive answers to her questions.  Then I gradually introduced objects that confirmed our togetherness, such as presents to one of us from her children.  As a cup tea worked  wonders I fired up YouTube and introducing my dad into the equation I put music connected to the RAF and remind Maureen how much he liked her.

Luck or intuition from YouTube then put the icing on the cake with Last Night of the Proms on screen.  I remembered Maureen’s affinity with classical music and we were still going strong 3 hours later.

The lesson from all this is that:

There is always someone, somewhere to help you on this journey.

Footnote: Now in Maureen’s reality: ‘it must be almost midnight and I’ve had that music thing on for ages and it’s time to go to sleep’.  I hope I will be able join my wife in a little more shuteye.





About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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2 Responses to Dementia: You’ll Never Walk Alone

  1. Mary Smith says:

    Glad music worked its magic for Maureen. It really is amazing how music can tap into something we can’t reach any other way.


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