It is time to do something that I often struggle to do: to listen to other people before I continue to plough my own furrow. My body and other people are telling me I have to change my ways or my efforts to keep Maureen at home for as long as possible will fail.
My plans for tomorrow are a typical example of my belligerence. A 14 hour day filled with emotion can only leave me drained and my immune system further weakened. I would only return from my trip to Coventry exhausted, unfulfilled and unfit to look after Maureen.
It is 4.30 am and I have been lying awake for a while; reluctant to face reality. At 70 years of age, I am ‘no Spring Chicken’ as Gary our social worker kindly pointed out the other day. There are no days off for a Care Partner and I need to be on my toes 24/7. Therefore, exhausting day trips to Coventry have to become a thing of the past.
I simply have to bite the bullet and schedule a further stint in Ashgrove Care Home for Maureen. Then I can have an overnight stay in Coventry and drive back safely the next day. This will also mean that I can take my mum out for a ride in the car when I visit. She will forget that I have been as soon as I get on the M69 to travel back to Cleethorpes. However, seeing the pleasure on her face as she navigates a ’99’ in the front seat of our car, as we sit in the car park of Coombe Park watching young children play, is something I will never forget.
I hope those people who have kindly facilitated a 14-hour carer sit tomorrow will understand my need to review my plans. Perhaps they will take some solace that I’m showing signs of being prepared to listen to what they have been telling me for quite some time! I will also seek an appointment with our G P this morning to discuss several things that are a cause for concern at the moment.