Dementia: ‘Just What The Doctor Ordered’

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I journeyed over 200 hundred miles yesterday to hear a common plea from my mum and wife: ‘can you get me out of here’.  It didn’t take me long to consider both situations and  to heed their desperate pleas for help.

Following our usual run to Coombe Park and sharing an ice cream mum was happy to go back to Elm Farm Care Home.  She told me how much she had enjoyed her escape into the outside world for a little over an hour.  As always I told her that her ‘little boy’ would be back soon and resisted the temptation to reassure her once again that I had a woman (wife) to look after me back home.

There wasn’t a great deal of conversation while I was with mum; she doesn’t have a lot to say these days.  I resisted the temptation to give her news of her eldest son.  She wouldn’t have coped well with the news that I’d found him fast asleep in his Nursing Home: comatose in the later stages of Alzheimer’s.

Maureen looked forlorn when I found her in the evening – sitting alone at a dining table in Ashgrove Care Home.  She broke down when she saw me as she thought: ‘I’d abandoned her there for the rest of her life’. It took me half an hour to arrange the second breakout of the day.and bring Maureen home.

As I am writing I’m also trying to deal with Maureen’s reaction to being here: ‘this is not home’ – where she wants to be!   I fully understand that I will continue to pay the price for ‘dumping her in a Care Home’.  However, that is a price worth paying for much-needed respite:  just what the: doctor, Admiral Nurse, social worker, and the Home Treatment Team ordered!’.

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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2 Responses to Dementia: ‘Just What The Doctor Ordered’

  1. Mary Smith says:

    You make me realise how lucky I was to have both a husband and a sister to share the care. It meant we all of us got some respite without having to put dad in a home. It never seemed a long enough break but it helped a lot.

    Like

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