Just after midnight Maureen appeared at my bedside and woke me up. She had come looking for me after choosing to sleep alone in the marital bed. It was clear that she was very frightened and confused by the events of the day: struggling to make sense of where her brother had gone and why we hadn’t all gone to sleep at her Aunty’s. I joined her in the marital bed for a while but couldn’t sleep. I lay awake thinking how plans that had emerged from my meeting with our Social Worker would not come to fruition.
Gary and I had hoped that Lindsey Hall Nursing Home would be able to take Maureen for a weeks Respite on Monday 3rd of October. I quite understand their reluctance to come to my rescue and give this exhausted Care Partner a much-needed break. Claire, the Dementia Manager, is taking a very responsible approach to Maureen’s introduction to Lindsey Hall. As she says we want to help but need have to tread very tentatively and attempt to build up Maureen’s trust.
Claire has only met Maureen once but she has made a very important point about Maureen’s capacity fluctuating. Some say that she is at the most difficult stage of dementia; with periods of lucidity within her presentation: don’t I know it! However, her inability to apply logic and rational thought provides a very challenging context to any form of negotiations.
I have to be patient and fully understand the need for a cautious approach to Maureen’s introduction to Lindsey Hall. Claire suggests a period of Day Care in a month or so when the Home begin to get up to speed. This seems, to me, a very sensible approach with an opportunity that is too good to miss for a positive solution to much-needed respite.
As soon as Social Services open for business this morning I will be on the phone arranging a meeting with Gary to consider how we can organise alternative Respite for a week on Monday. It’s now just after 2 am and Maureen is shouting for her mum and looking for missing footwear. This cannot continue……..including Blogging at this time of the morning!