Dementia: ‘Winging It’

Image result for Winging It PictureYesterday I tried to coax Maureen to come out of her shell .  I persuaded her to move from the sofa to a nearby Car Boot Sale before breakfast as I returned some faulty socks and sought batteries for my Tens Machine. It was simple to encourage her to accompany me on my mission as helping me to relieve pain (now in my right shoulder) attracted her nurturing nature.

On our homeward journey Maureen became confused when I asked her to buy the Daily Mail from the corner shop.  She suspected I was a playing a trick on her as I nudged her forward from the driver’s seat of the car.  In the end I eased her through the shop door and she returned with the paper, along with the correct change.  The shop owner has always called her ‘darling’ and yesterday was no exception: he continues to be supportive whenever Maureen ventures into his shop.

Following a rather late lunch Maureen spent a long time clearing up the kitchen.  I’m wondering if this might become custom and practice; with the cook able to rest while his wife tidies up the clutter in the kitchen.  One thing I’m pretty sure of is that comments are on the horizon about clearing up my mess as I go along, rather than leaving the kitchen like a bomb-site.

Maureen took to the sofa for most of the evening; waking a couple of times complaining of a sore mouth and tongue.  On one occasion she told me it was pointless me being here if I didn’t have a remedy for this chronic condition – Mrs Dementia at her best!.  She has forgotten that we have remedies at hand but none of them seem to have any long-term impact on this condition.

Lots of people are at pains to point out I’m ‘doing a good job’ and when I tell them of Maureen’s presentation they say ‘bless her’.  The reality is ‘I’m Winging It’ and she is sneezing a lot at the moment! refetced on the other day.

This morning’s reality check is that Maureen has just woken saying that I’m keeping her here and she wants to go home.  She is concerned that no-one else wants her: the loneliness of dementia- something that Kate Swaffer reflected on yesterday.

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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