Dementia: Left Alone

Maureen left me last night as I remained on the lounge floor after she had been sleeping on the sofa.  The good news is she went upstairs and got into bed.  Its early days but that photo on the bedroom door might just be the answer to Maureen knowing where to sleep at night.  Once she climbs into bed she gains comfort from a pillow case that she believes her mum embroidered and a quilt cover with a similar pattern.  I sleep a partition wall away in the spare bedroom and hope to share tea in Maureen’s bed in the morning.

Dianne our new Carer has been a breath of fresh air making such a difference to our weekend.  She has a wealth of relevant experience as she has previously worked in a Care Home where dementia was prominent.  Her rapport with Maureen has been excellent and entirely person-centred.  It didn’t take me long to realise that Maureen would be well looked after and I managed some time out on Saturday and Sunday.  I will be in contact with our social worker this morning to try to make sure Dianne becomes a regular in our team of carers.

It was good to catch up with so many ‘Coventry Kids’ yesterday.  Our phone was in constant use, while Maureen had an afternoon nap, with chat about the ‘Sky Blues’ first match (defeat) of the season and the state of the nation.  It’s reassuring that extremely busy folk with complications in their own lives still find time to chat whenever I make contact: sincere thanks to you all.

Chloe one of our regulars will be here at 10 am and that will create an opportunity to make it to the Leisure Centre this morning for a little exercise and to enjoy the warmth of the Spa and Sauna.  It’s a while since I’ve been down that way and it will be good to catch up with some old friends.  One of the things that I miss now Maureen has dementia is an opportunity to talk about current affairs and there is always lively chat in the Health Suite.

Maureen will be pleased to see Chloe this morning as she thought Dianne was here to check up on us to see if there was anything for the authorities to be concerned about.  I suppose it is natural to be suspicious about any new face when you have dementia and fear that everyone is conspiring to lock you away and throw away the key.  Her suspicions are hardly surprising after the events of the last couple of weeks.

It looks like it’s going to be another long day as Maureen has been up since 3.30 am.  I need to take advice to see if there is anything more I can do to regulate her sleep pattern, as these unsocial hours take some getting used to.  The positive thing today is that at 5.30 am Maureen is laughing at herself after waking up from a dream that she is late for an operation to remove her appendix.  She has also remembered that she doesn’t have to go to school today.  Who knows what she will be thinking about after she finishes putting washing on the line as I close this post.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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2 Responses to Dementia: Left Alone

  1. Mary Smith says:

    I’ve just been reading back over your posts for the last few weeks as I’d missed things that had been happening. I’m sorry about the dreadful experience of the Care Home and hope you find somewhere good for respite. I know how utterly exhausting it is to go through what you are experiencing. If there didn’t have to be the constant battles with social services and care agencies and if they put in place the support that is required it would be less exhausting.

    Like

    • Remember Me says:

      Yes Mary its been a difficult few weeks and we are not out of the woods yet. I’m hoping that the best Interest Meeting is an opportunity for all parties to put their cards on the table so we can move onward with confidence.

      Like

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