Dementia: Shocking Short-term Memory

I have just had a rude awakening concerning Maureen’s short-term memory.  Ian her son has just left after being here from 11.30 am and she has just asked me who he was. She says she has never met him before and thinks his name is William.  I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked by this as very early this morning she told me in no uncertain terms that ‘wives slept with their husbands and I wasn’t hers’.

Sue our social worker is off sick and Gary her replacement is in the process of organising the Best Interest Meeting.  I have now asked an Advocate to represent me at the meeting and made it clear to all parties what I think is the best way forward.  I’m hoping that Day Care at Royal Court along with periods of respite will relieve the pressure on me as her Care Partner.  The irony in all of this is that Tracey an earlier social worker asked me to explore Royal Court for Day Care quite some time ago and I never darkened their door!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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6 Responses to Dementia: Shocking Short-term Memory

  1. How was Maureen during the visit? Did she engage with him? It is so hard to see and hear that your loved one doesn’t recall your name or how you are related. What I try to suggest to people is to embrace the positives, that they may not remember your name or who you are, but if they are relaxed with you, engage with you, are not distressed by your presence, that is a win. There may be glimmers of recognition, but even if not, the sense that you are their “safe place” is so important. However, it is so difficult to be the one who is forgotten, that you are no longer the husband/son, and that is so hard. Sending you love x

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  2. Remember Me says:

    I’m sure you didn’t she has always been a compliant listener.

    Like

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