Dementia: In Whose Best Interest?

It didn’t surprise me yesterday when Maureen was found to lack capacity as far as her future care and welfare was concerned.  However after a troubled night and our early morning conversations I’m far from sure what lies ahead is in our Best Interests.

There is no doubt that professionals are trying to protect both of our interests: responding to the progression of dementia and a worn out Care Partner.  It may not be possible to do much about the former but the latter could have been prevented and even now could be alleviated.

It isn’t surprising that I face Carer Burnout when you consider how poorly I have been supported. The initial support from social services was so inadequate that a member of staff had to be taken off the job.  Our Care Agency is not fit for purpose and a replacement Agency at the weekend had fundamental shortcomings.   Occasional periods of respite may have been good for me but have always been a nightmare for Maureen.

Whatever happens next has to be in both of our Best Interests.  Our marriage vows remain firmly in place: it is until death do us part.  Why should the inadequacies of care in the community be allowed to separate us?  We are not going to be railroaded down a dead end: Maureen is not going to be warehoused and turned into a gibbering wreck!



About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: In Whose Best Interest?

  1. AmazingSusan says:

    Yours is the story of so many worldwide Paul, and mine was similar. God help us all ❤


  2. Mary Smith says:

    It’s a constant battle. I hope you can stay strong. Good luck.


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