Dementia: Mission Impossible

Some time ago Yvonna our pharmacist advised me to work on my DNA: to learn not to absorb when Mrs Dementia was at home.  When Mrs Dementia surfaced last night bad mouthing her mother and my inability to explain her lack of contact I realised that my DNA mode was lacking.  Fortunately telephone advice from a nurse on the Konar Suite  ‘to give her space and ensure she was safe’ saved the day.

I think Maureen’s ‘Official Birthday’ may have been too much for her.   We may got it wrong and she smelled a rat with me on the phone as her son tried to keep her busy.  In retrospect I could have joined the party and progressed business today.

Conversations with our G P and my Counsellor at Clee Medical Centre yesterday caused me to consider if it time to accept that looking after Maureen at home is no longer a viable option. This has led me to request adequate time to sort out my thinking on my preferred way forward.  However, before I can look at options I need to still my mind with some Buddhist input.

I  am already re reading Modern Buddhism with particular reference to attachment. I will contact Ed, my friend, from Meditation Classes in Grimsby to chat over my take on attachment.  Further respite at the Madhyamaka Centre can only help me to develop the peaceful mind needed to tackle the next stage of our journey.

This morning my role of minimising Maureen’s distress is becoming Mission Impossible.  She is extremely confused and in considerable pain from her stay in Ladysmith Road.  On the advice of G P Out of Hours Paramedics have called to check her out and she is a different woman in their presence.  Mrs Dementia who couldn’t get off the sofa has been seen off by Maureen who is now fine and dandy.  

It will be interesting to see who is here when the Home Treatment Team arrive to conduct a Capacity Assessment later this morning. 

 

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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