I think it was Amazing Susan who reminded me a while ago that with dementia there are some things that you never solve. I’m beginning to think sleep deprivation is now a way of life. For three lovely nights I thought I had cracked it then ‘wham bam thank you mam’ its back with a vengeance.
When Gilly from the Home Treatment Team was with us at the weekend we discussed sleeping arrangements. Maureen made it clear that she wanted to sleep by herself in what had been the marital bedroom. So for three nights things have gone relatively well with Maureen making her way up to her bedroom at various times of night after ‘resting her eyes on the sofa’.
Early this morning I gathered she was on the move as the Baby Monitor clicked into life followed by footsteps on the stairs. So I called out to let Maureen know I was in the spare bedroom. My usual enquiry if she was alright was met with ‘no I’m frightened about being by myself’. I took a chance and joined her in the marital bed anticipating further rest: how wrong I was.
I hadn’t been with Maureen for long before she began sobbing. As I tentatively provided physical comfort she told me she was thinking of the death of her baby over 50 years ago. This is a story I have heard many times as she tries to deal with the way she dealt with her grief. Her approach of putting on a brave face is similar to how I dealt with the death of my first wife. Neither of us knew how to grieve when the death of a loved one came so early in our lives.
Tea has been served very early this morning: Maureen is now on her second pot. She has now moved on to ‘wanting to go home’ suggesting that she needs to see her brother and sister in Nottingham. My response as always is that we could pop across to the Midlands, walk by the Trent, and visit some old haunts. Maureen says she is too tired to consider such an idea and I may return to this theme later in the day. I think a change of scenery, even if it is Grimsby dock, may be just what the Care Partner ordered. Watch this space……….
Edit: We’ve just returned for a lovely walk in the sun. Whilst we were out I spotted this beauty: I would never have given up train spotting if I ‘d known there were models like that about!