Dementia: I’m Totally Exhausted

I am totally exhausted after another night of sleep deprivation.  Our day had been relatively good with a positive visit from ‘Flexible Sue’ our social worker.  We chatted openly and honestly and Maureen told me afterwards she ‘liked that lady’.  Sue contacted me later in the day to confirm our meeting to review my Carers Assessment towards the end of July.

It is difficult for me to remember all of the events of the night, and early this morning:  there were so many twists and turns and my recollection of what happened when is hazy.  Once again Maureen decided to stay on the sofa as I retired to bed.  She eventually came upstairs and wanted the marital bedroom to herself.  Her behaviour towards me being in ‘her bed’ was hostile so I retreated to the spare bedroom.  Later in the night she joined me in the spare room.  Then she had periods of restlessness before she returned to bed.

Her attitude this morning has ranged from cool to unpleasant.   It is likely that she is as worn out as me by ‘Musical Beds’ and needs to catch up on sleep.

There is no carer sit this morning.  With Chloe our regular being on holiday the Agency had planned to send someone who was totally unsuitable to our needs.  I will contact ‘Flexible Sue’ as soon as the lines open to see if a sit can be arranged later in the day. It is not going to be possible for me to get through today without a carer sit at some time in the day: I need some time out.

Fortunately I will get some real respite from the challenges that I’m facing here over the weekend.  Jill my sister, and her husband Rob, will be here with lunch on Saturday. Rob has built up a unique business: if he can’t fix a hydraulics problem no-one can.  He has a canny ability to see the wood from the trees.  It will be good to be in the company of kindred spirits who despite considerable challenges within their own lives are never too busy to offer real support to a very tired 70 year old Care Partner.

One positive that has emerged from a difficult night is the thought of moving our bedroom.  The prospect from the spare bedroom is very soothing on the eye: we overlook a golf course and the windows are not leaded.  I think it is worth considering moving so we no longer wake up to the sadness of bungalows across the road where widows have a lonely old life: food for thought on a dismal morning here in Cleethorpes.

Edit at 8.30 am:

Thank goodness for BBC News to remind me of 100 years on from the Somme and here I was wallowing in my own trivial battles: hope I have put that right on my Good Music page.


About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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10 Responses to Dementia: I’m Totally Exhausted

  1. AmazingSusan says:

    Paul, I know this will sound odd coming from me, but you may need to consider using some medication to help Maureen sleep at night to you can get some sleep too. I had to do it. Then you can try stopping it after some time (e.g. several months). It’s no good being exhausted, you will break and then what? 😦


  2. Remember Me says:

    Thanks Susan it is one of the things that needs exploring I agree. I’m on the case with a meeting with Karen from the Home Treatment Team in an hour.


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