Dementia: Looking Back: Looking Ahead (Week 19))

My meeting with Mel my Admiral Nurse on Friday reviewed my approach to Maureen’s current presentation and possible approaches to resolving my concerns:

I Don’t Know Who You Are

This is one of the issues that I find the most challenging as it can arise at any time of the day.  It is of particular concern at bed-time or during the night when I’m told in no uncertain terms that i don’t belong in Maureen’s bed.  This happened again last night around 1 am where i had to retreat into the spare room before I could settle Maureen from roaming around the house before she felt that she had somewhere that was safe for her to sleep.  I intend to persevere with attempting to sleep beside Maureen for another week and withdraw to the spare room at appropriate times.  I will also continue to mention in passing that we are husband and wife; possibly using the Wedding Album as reinforcement.  It will also be interesting to see Maureen’s reaction if I join her in bed when I arrive as ‘Tea Boy’ when I bring her the first cuppa of the day: just did it and received a warm welcome.  I realise I have to be a gentleman as Maureen thinks we’re only engaged!

Individual Cognitive Stimulation Therapy

Maureen is often saying that no-one has told her how to get her memory back.  Mel has confirmed that Maureen is eligible to be placed on the waiting list for ICST.  At an appropriate moment I will suggest that Maureen signs up to see if ICST is something that might be helpful to her.

My Daughter’s Birthday

It is Lisa my eldest daughter’s birthday mid-June and I want to stay overnight in Coventry to be with her on a special day and catch up with other members of my family.  I intend to make this trip alone so I can have some quality time with my own family.  It would be unfair to subject Maureen to such a busy schedule and carers along with her sons will ensure her well-being during my absence.

The following two issues were not discussed with Mel but are real positives for the week ahead:

Leisure Centre

I have begun to use some of the exercising equipment in the Gym to strengthen my upper body and my shoulder seems to be improving.  I am also benefitting from the reopening of the Health Suite after refurbishment and enjoying the Spa and Sauna facilities once again.

Sleep

It is  early days but my sleep pattern seems to be improving at long last.  I am hopeful that a simple breathing meditation and not absorbing Maureen’s hostility continue to help me get back to sleep after early morning incidents.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: Looking Back: Looking Ahead (Week 19))

  1. Good to read these positives about your exercise (shoulder) and sleep.

    Like

  2. Mary Smith says:

    Sounds like you had a positive meeting with the Admiral nurse.

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  3. Remember Me says:

    Yes I did Mary and Mel is a very progressive thinker who is always helping me to look for triggers in Maureen’s presentation.

    Like

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