Dementia: Still Trigger Happy

The wedding ring is now safely (I hope) back on Maureen’s finger.  We collected the resized ring from the jewellers yesterday.  Maureen is still not sure it is the correct size and we will need to keep it under review so she doesn’t take it off and put it in a safe place; where hopefully her engagement ring resides.

I am hoping that wearing a wedding ring will remind Maureen that she is my wife.  It may have helped last night as we shared the marital bed until I got up at 5.30 am.  I have already pulled down the continental quilt in the spare room so it becomes that rather than ‘my bedroom’.  It is possible that my ideas around the Wedding Album may begin over the weekend, it depends how things pan out.

I had a positive meeting with Mel my Admiral Nurse yesterday.  We are not completely comfortable with the ‘going with the flow’ approach to dementia.  We favour a ‘trigger-happy approach’ by trying to look behind aspects of presentation.  So we see my taking to the spare room only as a last resort when it is necessary to avert distress.

There is little doubt that Maureen is becoming increasingly confused. Yesterday Chloe, our longest serving carer, said she frequently asked her if she knew anything of her whereabouts.  Maureen also mentioned to me that several carers had been assisting her during the course of the morning.  The apparent progression of Maureen’s dementia means that I need to keep the 12 Helpful Hints from yesterday’s blog to the forefront of my mind as I attempt to minimise distress and try to help her remember who I am.

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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