One of my most difficult tasks as Maureen’s Care Partner is working out who she thinks I am or alternatively who I am not at ceratin times of the day or night. We had great fun for most of yesterday with an early morning stroll around a local Car Boot Sale to set us off on sound footing. In the afternoon Maureen sang along beautifully to Anne Murray and many others as I kept the deck well supplied with vinyl. We managed another walk early evening checking on the activities at nearby Holiday Centres.
On our return I scanned YouTube for an episode of Dinner Ladies and we both enjoyed seeing Victoria Wood and her fellow workers at their best. I thought we had spent the day together as husband and wife until about 9 pm when Maureen asked me ‘to take her home to her husband’. I was taken aback by her request and explained in a low key way that she was already at home. Unfortunately, none of my attempts to help her grasp my reality worked until sleep rescued us both from a tricky situation.
Maureen woke after about half an hour dozing on the sofa and decided to go to bed. I managed to sleep beside her and we had a relatively peaceful night with a couple of interruptions. Around 4 am she muttered something about ‘making chips’ and a little later on was pleased with my reassurance that she didn’t need to ‘get ready for school’.
I decided to get up around 5 am and have a shower to try to ease discomfort in my shoulder and hips. As I walked across the landing after showering Maureen appeared looking startled and then saying ‘thank goodness it’s you’. I quickly slipped into my ‘Tea Boy’ role to help her snuggle back down in the warmth of the bed.
As Paul Martin my counsellor often reminds me my main focus as a Care Partner is to seek to minimise distress. It’s safe to be Maureen’s DJ or Tea Boy: it’s when I’m trying to be her husband that things become hairy. However, there is one thing that we can both be today is supporters of the Grimsby Town who are at Wembley today in the play-offs. We can both forget our respective loyalties to Coventry City and Nottingham Forest and support the ‘Mighty Mariners’ efforts to get back into the Football League. The outcome of the match is as uncertain as whom Maureen thinks will be sitting beside her as we follow the fortunes of ‘Town’ this afternoon.