Dementia: Giving A Month’s Notice

At 10.30 tomorrow morning I intended to give a month’s notice that I am no longer prepared to be Maureen’s Care Partner under the current arrangements.  I am posting this information because there is no guarantee I will be able to make the meeting with my Admiral Nurse and G P.  Despite assurances yesterday the Care Agency have not confirmed there will be adequate care in place for Maureen tomorrow morning.

Yesterday was the straw that finally broke this Care Partner’s back.  My visit to the Care Agency confirmed my worst fears: they don’t understand dementia and are working within procedures that are not fit for purpose 

I am giving notice because I love my wife.  The current arrangements for support place an unworkable burden on me and cannot be sustained.  We are both entitled to a much better support than this under the Care Act. 

On the first of May if workable arrangements have not been put in place I will remove myself to a place of safety until they are. 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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8 Responses to Dementia: Giving A Month’s Notice

  1. Jenny says:

    I”m sorry that it has come to this, it is a very sad reflection on state funded care. I hope your brave stand triggers a significant change on the support you are being offered x

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  2. Remember Me says:

    I think it might just: ‘up with this I will not put’ as someone once said.

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  3. misifusa says:

    Sending hugs to you. I know this is a monumental decision. ♥

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  4. Remember Me says:

    Hi mifusa it’s also a ‘Best Interest’ decision for both of us!

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  5. Henri says:

    I am so so so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how hard this is. People say it takes a village to bring up a child. Well, you know what, it takes a village to help care for a person with dementia! It is sad that even developed countries are doing so little to support families! It’s all about the cure…and very little about supporting those who need the help right now. I hope that Maureen finds a care facility where she will thrive and you will get the required down time. It’s an exhausting journey. Your family is in my prayers.

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  6. Big, big difficult decision but at same time maybe help to have set a date this way? I am still here reading and supporting you, although not always able to comment. Still have catch up to do but just want to say here how much I admire how strong, thoughtful, caring, and loving you have been with Maureen and the lengths you have gone to ensure that you are doing what is best.

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  7. Remember Me says:

    Thanks Lemony: Maureen has always been there for me in my hour of need so it’s time to reciprocate.

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