Dementia: ‘Terrors Of The Night’

It isn’t unusual for me to have problems with my sleep pattern.  Early morning wakening has been a feature of my life for a long time:  when I have been feeling low I have often struggled to sleep and faced ‘terrors of the night’ in many a dark hour.  Fortunately through Buddhism I have learned to control my thinking and deal with bad vibes.  Without such ‘teaching’ I would be in a real mess this morning with two real issues going round and round in my head.

Maureen was downstairs at 4 am this morning.  I heard her fill the kettle then I listened: hoping that I heard the lid go down. I waited but no sound of a boiling kettle.  Five minutes later Maureen returned upstairs with a cold drink of water.  This only confirmed what Chloe, our carer, had seen yesterday that Maureen is no longer able to make herself a hot drink without support.  When I went downstairs a little later I found that the kettle had not even been switched on.

The other thing that is paining me this morning is my left shoulder.  I am aware I have a month to go before I see the surgeon.  If the pain I’m feeling today is to continue surgery will be an attractive option.  Anyone in their right mind would take the risk and hope that surgery does the trick.

There is little point in focusing on the need to be Maureen’s Tea Boy or if I will have my left arm in a sling for a few weeks.  Kevin a friend of mine will be popping in to see us this morning and then we will be able to focus on the ‘real problems’ in our lives.  We both support football teams that need just a little bit of luck.  The ‘Geordie Boy’ needs more points to stay in the Premier League and this ‘Coventry Kid’s’ team need them to get back to the Championship.  That wife of mine will say  ‘Come On You Reds’ as she proudly tells everyone she is a Forest fan.  The one thing we all have in common is we continue to be loyal to team of our birthplace.  We also know football isn’t something worth losing sleep over and loyal people always continue to support each other through thick and thin. 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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