Dementia: ‘Haven’t I Got A Sister ?’

It’s 10 pm and I’m blogging to help me cope with the events of the last half an hour.  As Maureen completed her preparations to go to bed I heard her sobbing in the bathroom.  I went to console her and she said she ‘didn’t like sleeping by herself and haven’t I got a sister’.  It took me a while to settle her before she told me she wanted the bedroom to herself.  As I was about to close her bedroom door she said ‘who are you?’

I have no problem accepting that Maureen doesn’t know who I am at various times in the day.  My role is to minimise her distress and help her to feel safe.  However, I’m glad I’ll be able to watch a bit of footie on T V for a while as sleep doesn’t come easy when you see someone you love so upset.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I could do what comes naturally in such situations but any form of physical contact is risky when dementia is rampant with Maureen’s history.


About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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7 Responses to Dementia: ‘Haven’t I Got A Sister ?’

  1. misifusa says:

    Sending hugs to you and to Maureen.


  2. Thinking of you both…


  3. Remember Me says:

    Thank you both your support is appreciated. It’s now 2.40 am and Maureen’s been up since 2 am. She is concerned that someone is trying to steal her car. I’ve reassured her that there’s no-one there and I am hoping she is out for the count on the sofa for a while.


  4. Pymmite says:

    No- one really understands the desperation of such a night, unless they have been through it. Sending you strength. Once the daylight returns, it feels a bit better.


    • Remember Me says:

      Hi Pymmite dawn not far away now and I have one or two things I want to do on my vegetable patch as soon as light permits. Then at 9 am I am seeing my physiotherapist to make sure I am not overdoing it with his exercise regime. A little later I hope to see our GP to let him know how things are going here. What I have to learn to do is accept what happens then go back to sleep: easier said than done at the moment.


  5. Hope things have settled down by now, and you could take some rest. Take care of your health as well.


  6. Remember Me says:

    Thanks Vandana I did manage to get more rest: so did ‘Sleeping Beauty’. It’s a bit of a ‘me’ day today: physio at 9 and hopefully G P soon after. One of your hearty dishes later in the day will work wonders I’m sure!


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