Dementia: ‘Haven’t I Got A Sister ?’

It’s 10 pm and I’m blogging to help me cope with the events of the last half an hour.  As Maureen completed her preparations to go to bed I heard her sobbing in the bathroom.  I went to console her and she said she ‘didn’t like sleeping by herself and haven’t I got a sister’.  It took me a while to settle her before she told me she wanted the bedroom to herself.  As I was about to close her bedroom door she said ‘who are you?’

I have no problem accepting that Maureen doesn’t know who I am at various times in the day.  My role is to minimise her distress and help her to feel safe.  However, I’m glad I’ll be able to watch a bit of footie on T V for a while as sleep doesn’t come easy when you see someone you love so upset.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I could do what comes naturally in such situations but any form of physical contact is risky when dementia is rampant with Maureen’s history.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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7 Responses to Dementia: ‘Haven’t I Got A Sister ?’

  1. misifusa says:

    Sending hugs to you and to Maureen.

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  2. Thinking of you both…

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  3. Remember Me says:

    Thank you both your support is appreciated. It’s now 2.40 am and Maureen’s been up since 2 am. She is concerned that someone is trying to steal her car. I’ve reassured her that there’s no-one there and I am hoping she is out for the count on the sofa for a while.

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  4. Pymmite says:

    No- one really understands the desperation of such a night, unless they have been through it. Sending you strength. Once the daylight returns, it feels a bit better.

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    • Remember Me says:

      Hi Pymmite dawn not far away now and I have one or two things I want to do on my vegetable patch as soon as light permits. Then at 9 am I am seeing my physiotherapist to make sure I am not overdoing it with his exercise regime. A little later I hope to see our GP to let him know how things are going here. What I have to learn to do is accept what happens then go back to sleep: easier said than done at the moment.

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  5. Hope things have settled down by now, and you could take some rest. Take care of your health as well.

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  6. Remember Me says:

    Thanks Vandana I did manage to get more rest: so did ‘Sleeping Beauty’. It’s a bit of a ‘me’ day today: physio at 9 and hopefully G P soon after. One of your hearty dishes later in the day will work wonders I’m sure!

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