Dementia: Fear and Confusion on Friday Night

Because of the events of last night today’s post is a departure from the normal routine of Saturday’s Sprinkle of Gratitude .

I have never seen Maureen so confused and frightened as she was last night.  She was very mixed up early this morning until she settled down with dawn on the horizon.  To keep matters brief I’ll use a time log to describe events as they unfolded:

pm

Maureen awoke after resting for an hour or so on the sofa.  All seemed well until she became very distressed during her bed time routines.  She began to ask me where the others had gone.  She wondered where my daughter’s were or the girls she used to play with.  Sobbing her heart out she eventually got into bed and pulled the sheets over her head.  As I was leaving the room she said ‘she wanted to get out of this place’.

1.30 am

I was awoken by Maureen crying in the front bedroom.  She seemed very distressed and welcomed me into the marital bed.  She went back to sleep quickly, and I returned to the comfort of the spare room: my painful shoulder seems better if I have a bed to myself at the moment

4 am

Maureen popped into the spare room enquiring if I had slept well, and if my shoulder was any better.  She told me she was going downstairs to make a drink.  I joined her ten minutes later to find her in a state of confusion.  The evidence that she struggles to make a cup of tea was everwhere.  Even with my assistance her efforts brought tears to my eyes: mugs, tea, milk and sugar all over the place.

6 am 

I have eased Maureen into her sleeping position on the sofa.  I imagine she will ‘rest her eyes’ for a while.  She has been very calm for the last hour and we have had great fun talking about all sorts of topics.  She is particularly taken at the moment with ‘when the NHS became free at the point of delivery’.

Conclusion:

Maureen was time travelling last night.  She spent some of her childhood in Cleethorpes.  Whenever she is with her aunties they talk of the great times they had together: sometimes 5 of them sharing a bed.

Maureen is frequently frightened when alone with a man at night.  Her concerns are understandable as fear of abuse never leaves the victim.

Maureen’s functional capacity continues to decline: making a cup of tea or a sandwich is no longer a simple matter.

It’s going to be a long day and it would be really nice if the Sky Blues got back to winning ways at Blackpool this afternoon.

 

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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4 Responses to Dementia: Fear and Confusion on Friday Night

  1. An eventful night! You both must be exhausted. Best wishes for the Sky Blues. 🙂

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  2. Remember Me says:

    We are both pretty tired. Today has been challenging so far. Thanks for your good wishes for the Sky Blues, we need all the support we can get at the moment.

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  3. Chantal says:

    I just wanted to let you know l was think of you both. I have no idea your struggles in life but hope thing will get easier for you both. I can see and feel the love you have for each other. I hope tomorrow is better:)

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  4. Remember Me says:

    Thanks Chantal for your kind wishes. I really appreciate the support we get from all around the world. Today is a good day: ‘I woke up didn’t I’ – famous words from my brother in law Rob. Now there’s a man you would like for his positive take on things.!

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