Dementia: ‘Shaddap you face’

If there’s one thing that I could do at the moment that would really help Maureen it is to talk less and listen more.  Yesterday as I pressed ahead with solving the problems in my left shoulder I updated her after each phone call.  By the end of the day she was totally confused over what was going to happen next.  In fact she was so bewildered that she suggested we should take a tin out with us on our walk to collect money to help pay for surgery.

This morning I did more of the same.  Maureen asked her daily question, as she woke, about what I was going to do today.  Once again I did it again listing lots activities I had in mind, and left her totally confused.  All I needed to say was ‘potter around the house’.  What she needs to know is that I will be by her side all day.

So hopefully if I sing along with Joe today I’ll keep to my mantra of KISSSS.   His song might just remind me that Maureen is very frightened at the moment and needs reassurance that she is going to be safe.  She doesn’t need lots of complicated information about my shoulder or how I’m going to spend my day.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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