Dementia: Dealing With The Hangover

We were both  hung over yeaterday after partying early into the morning .  Maureen was able to sleep it off by going back to bed at 7.30 am but I had a morning acupuncture appointment so I couldn’t join her.

Alison was sticking needles into me just before 9 am, for some real complimentary therapy. As she sorted out where to place the needles we continued our conversation of the previous week about dementia.

As a complimentary therapist Alison always steers the conversation in a personal direction, as she treats the whole person.  She knew that her question about how are you doing would lead to me talking about my role as a Care Partner.  As her dad had recently been diagnosed with dementia, we had a two-way conversation rather than me receiving counselling.

When I returned home Maureen was still sleeping off her hangover.  That gave me an opportunity to chat with Gail when she arrived for the carer sit.   We sat and had toast and tea together for a while. I gave Gail a catch up on how things had been in the last week.  I also showed her Chloe her colleague’s notes on how she cares for Maureen.  Gail added a further couple of sentences to Chloe’s work, so we now have guidelines for new faces when our regulars are not available.

The dedication of Chloe and Gail never ceases to impress me.  They treat Maureen  as a relative that they are very fond of indeed.  I couldn’t fault their approach to supporting us both: they are incredible.  As we can go weeks without a knock at the door, with a friendly face wanting to come in, they are so important to our lives.  Hence I have back-tracked over our discussions with our social worker last week, and want to continue with the current arrangements of carer sits for nine hours a week.

We both dozed at several periods in the day, to try to catch up with our sleep deficit form ‘partying’ the night before.  Maureen ‘packed for home’ on a couple of occasions.  The holiday was over from her point of view: ‘it’s time to go home, next time we’ll stay in a hotel’  She said this as I dragged her way from the kitchen sink exhausted from her efforts.  Her assertion was quite understandable: she often came to Cleethorpes on holiday after her parents moved back to Nottingham.

One final point from yesterday we sang a lot during the day to some of our favourites. We also developed a new game singing silly songs as you will see on my Good Music page.  Maureen has really taken to singing and often mentions how good it is for us to launch into song.  She is singing ‘Remember Me’ now: I will be always eternally grateful to Tom Schullerand Kate Swaffer, for pointing me in the direction of the work of Oliver Sacks!

 

 

 

Advertisements

About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
This entry was posted in General and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Dementia: Dealing With The Hangover

  1. kiwinana says:

    Interesting reading. I have a person in my household with memory issues, at times it is very hard, I will enjoy reading how you are getting on. Hope you got over the hangover.

    Like

  2. Oliver Sacks was a fascinating individual. I loved all his works. This text is very interesting because a sense of everyday life and one that people that are alien to dementia wouldn’t consider as possible. Thank you for opening this page of your life to the world.

    Like

  3. I’ve read several of your posts and they touched me very deeply. My father-in-law suffered dementia and family gatherings were always a bit of a struggle for those who had not visited with him for some time. They were confused and embarrassed for him when he made “outlandish” comments. Those of us who were more familiar with the ebb and flow of his memory were able to take that deep breath (unobserved of course) and just go with the flow. I love your idea of singing. I think music is the next strongest memory beside scent. When my own father was getting well on into his 90’s (he didn’t have dementia) there were few topics of conversation that truly interested him. Once on a visit I idly pulled an old photo album off his shelf. There were oodles of photographs from before I was born. I had heard some of the stories before and I thought to myself that one day I was going to inherit these family heirlooms. I flipped the album open to the beginning and said “Daddy, who are all these people and where is this picture from?”. For the next several hours he reminisced about all his sibling, cousins, aunts, uncles, war buddies, adventures… Every memory was crystal clear to him. His face transformed into that of the younger man I had known as a child. The delight in his voice was very evident. The best part was at the end he said, with a huge smile on his face, “That was fun!” Perhaps you can take your love on a walk down old memory lane? The flowers are very pretty there, Perhaps they will help you both smile. Be well.

    Like

    • Remember Me says:

      Thanks very much for your kind comments about my blog. We often take a walk and smell the flowers. I frequently use music that evokes loevly memories for Maureen: YouTube is such a bonus Thanks fo sharing your memories they are loevly to read.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s