Dementia: Reality Check Needed

It’s now 5.30 am, and I have been awake for a couple of hours.  Maureen decided she wanted an early start this morning, and opened the curtains at 3 am to see what was going on outside.  I could fill pages on what has followed but I’m not sure it would be of any real benefit.  What I need to do is outline some specifics about Maureen’s current presentation to discuss with our ‘support teams’ in the coming week:

  1. Maureen believes we are living in some type of Care Home.
  2. Maureen believes her family don’t know where she is.
  3. Maureen is very frightened: particularly about men
  4. Maureen has little concept of: time, place or person.
  5. Maureen needs support to undertake most domestic duties safely.
  6. Maureen continues to be troubled by discomfort in her left leg and foot.
  7. Maureen finds all underwear uncomfortable.
  8. Maureen has few clothes that fit or feel comfortable.
  9. Maureen’s intolerance to smells continues to create discomfort.
  10. Maureen’s confusion about who I am is becoming more frequent.

Just to give some context to the above points, in our conversation this morning Maureen asked me how we had got here.  She was unsure whether we were in Cleethorpes or Coventry.  Despite speaking to both of her sons on the phone yesterday; she talked of writing to them to tell them where she is.  She has no recollection of her son’s visit on Thursday or his brother’s a couple of weeks before.

Maureen has just gone downstairs, and asked me if it is safe to take a handbag with her.   She has returned a few minutes later as she has discovered another handbag, and wonders why she has two.  I can hear the kettle boiling downstairs, and will need to check the lid is down.  It’s likely she has poured several cups of tea, for other people in this Home.

Maureen has just appeared with a tray saying she couldn’t find half the things she needed.  Five minutes later she’s back with four mugs on the tray, and a jumble of other items laughing, and saying: ‘poor old sole can’t even make a cup of tea now’.  I could go on: the point I’m making is that things are changing, and we need to discuss a practical way forward for the next stage of our journey.

It would be helpful for Maureen’s Care Plan to reflect her current presentation, rather than how she was over 12 months ago.  My long awaited Carer’s Support Plan  needs to consider if my involvement as a Care Partner is sustainable with the current level of carer sits.

Postscript:  It’s now 7 am both handbags are now missing, along with Maureen’s spectacles.  Drawers and cupboards are being opened and banged shut as Maureen hunts them down.  I’ve had a preliminary search and they are not in the usual haunts.  Thank goodness the holiday period is over and Chloe our regular carer is back today.  I will need to seek respite in the warmth of the Spa and Sauna at the Leisure Centre : can’t wait!

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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2 Responses to Dementia: Reality Check Needed

  1. Have you looked at some comfort and adaptive clothing lines that are available through online stores? There may be some clothing items that could help with the physical discomfort she experiences from her clothes and under garments.

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  2. Remember Me says:

    Thanks I’ll have a look at these suppliers. The strange thing is that how certain clothes feel varies form day to day. I think there is more to this syndrome that meets the eye.

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