Dementia: Picking Up The Pieces

I found it really difficult to get back into the swing of things yesterday, after my day trip to Coventry.  It reminded me of the first day back on the shop floor of the car industry after a holiday.  I could almost ‘smell the suds as I put on my overalls’, after just a day away from being a Care Partner. Yesterday, it was coming back to the complexities of dementia, and the aftermath of my desertion: no suds to contend with but it still stank!

Early this morning the level of Maureen’s confusion hit me head on.  She made some enquiry about ‘this house’.   My response led her to say: ‘how could I have sold my house in Coventry?  I wouldn’t have known how to do it, and my son wouldn’t have allowed me to’.  Once again contact with her sons has added to her confusion: a visit form one on Monday and a long phone call from his brother yesterday.

Maureen is unable to change much about her presentation: dementia is in control for most of the time.  However, after a day away I had forgotten how draining and challenging my role as a Care Partner has become.  It is easy to ‘forgive’ my lovely wife: there is little she can do about her condition.  I can’t make the same excuses for her sons: they just ‘don’t get it’.  They ignore my advice and continue with interactions that add to Maureen’s confusion: it’s time to talk to them about the consequences of their interactions.  I think I will have a chat with my Admiral Nurse about this before she breaks up for Christmas.

 

 

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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