Dementia: Time To Pull Our Socks Up!

Yesterday didn’t go to plan: Maureen’s reaction to me going to watch football was hostile, and the Sky Blues lost to Sheffield United.  

When I left to see my beloved Sky Blues shortly before noon Maureen went ‘off on one’.  As I was leaving she became verbally aggressive, making threats, and banging doors.  She ‘legged it’ as soon as I was out the door, and Sue, our carer, had to trail her around the streets for some time before she could cajole her back home.  

It is quite simple what caused Maureen to react with hostilty to my exit –FEAR.  Unfortunately Sue our carer had only met us once before, and that was months ago.  As I was hurriedly explaining Maureen’s current presentation to Sue, she became extremely agitated.  She complained about us whispering in the kitchen, and slammed the lounge door. What would anyone make of their husband whispering to a stranger before he was about to leave the house? 

Two issues created difficulties yesterday morning, and caused unnecessary distress for Maureen.   Firstly, our Care Plan is completely out of date and there is little point in carers reading it.  Secondly, carers don’t have time to read the notes of their colleagues before they start their shift.  This is completely unacceptable and has to stop!  Whispering in the kitchen is bad practise and likely to cause distress.

My addiction to the Sky Blues led me to leave Maureen with a stranger: I got what I deserved, on the pitch, and off.  Maureen didn’t: we all need to pull our socks up!

The other thing I need to do is stay in bed until it gets light in the morning.  This will give Maureen reassurance and my aching body chance to heal: my legs are troubling me once again.  I am going to try listening to a Buddhist meditation compact disk when I awake early.  This could well help on a number of fronts.  Several people are getting to me at the moment and learning to: ‘cherish others’ is something I need to work on!

2 thoughts on “Dementia: Time To Pull Our Socks Up!

  1. Don’t be too hard on yourself Paul, you need a break sometimes, you work so hard to be sensitive to Maureen’s needs

    Hope you manage to get more rest, and this helps your legs to be less troublesome. Listening to the meditation cd sounds like a good idea for when you can’t sleep.


  2. Thanks for your kind comments. My professional, and academic training, in ctritical awareness means that I have to put the spotlight on my own performance. It would be unfair just to focus on the contribution of others!


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