Dementia: ‘I want my wife’

Today’s posts will be an hour earlier than normal because of my hospital appointment.

There is a selfish reason I want Maureen to come with me to hospital this morning: it might just save medical staff a phone call.  When I had my first hip replaced a few years ago I woke up in recovery crying: ‘I want my wife’.  Maureen tells the tale of hardly having the time to sit down at home with a cup of tea, before the phone rang with my request.  She then hoot-footed it back to hospital to comfort her ‘old man’.

I am hoping that I won’t be quite so demanding this morning.  It is reassuring to know  if I do need my wife to comfort me after the laproscopy she will only be a stones throw away.   My mum used to tell stories of dental assistants at the School  Clinic fetching her into the recovery room when I was a young lad:  laying on a couch spaced out after a filling.

Dementia has robbed mum and Maureen of these memories.   So they are no longer able to tease me about being a wimp – not that either of them ever would!  It will be interesting to see how I cope this morning.

Oh I nearly forgot – when I put UB40 on yesterday evening Maureen loved singing along with Ali Campbell.  I think that concert will always be there as something we will never forget: it’s the emotional memory that remains with us until the end of our lives.  If Ali could have heard her yesterday evening he’d have her singing with him on Homely Girl at his next concert.


About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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2 Responses to Dementia: ‘I want my wife’

  1. alijory says:

    Hope all went well today, Paul


  2. Remember Me says:

    Fine thanks. I was brave and the NHS were excellent – see new blog.


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