Dementai: ‘London Lagged’

I have never travelled far enough on a plane to be jet lagged but this morning I am ‘London Lagged’.   It was lovely to see my daughter yesterday and we had a great time together.  We had a good lunch and then we walked and talked for the afternoon.  Inevitably we talked about her siblings, alongside conversations about all sorts of things.  Anna is a very interesting woman and great company: I’m proud that she is my daughter.

Maureen was in bed on my return so I practically had 24 hours away from my role as Care Partner.  I used my time away to recharge my batteries and reflect on how to progress things at home.  During my journey I read a little more about neuroplasticity and how the brain can heal itself..

My feelings this morning remind me of returning to work after a holiday.   However, there is far more in my thoughts than happy memories of time away from the ‘coal face’.  As soon as Maureen woke this morning  I was confronted with the fact that she doesn’t know who I am.  She talks to me about Paul: ‘that he went to London last weekend’.  Then her questions revolve around ‘what’s happening in Coventry’.  I try to listen very closely and it appears she has no recollection that her son was here yesterday.  Later in the conversation she talks about her ‘memory loss and not being the full shilling’.  I could go on……..

I think I need to end this post by emptying  some of the traffic in my head and list my thoughts:

  • I need to take stock to listen for a day or two
  • I am neo Buddhist surrounded by non believers in cause and effect
  • We are on the receiving end of a resources led model of care and support
  • I need to broaden my understanding of neuroplasticity
  • The simplest thing to do at the moment is to seek to minimise distress

I plan to elaborate on some of the points in the above list later in the morning

After any holiday it takes a while to get back into the swing of things.  I just need to take a breath for a day or two before deciding the nexts steps on our journey.  Time for more reading, reflection and an exchange with our supporters.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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