Dementia: Oh! What A Night

At 5.30 pm yesterday evening Maureen decided she was tired and it was time to turn in for the night.  I joined her for a while to help her settle down.  Once she was asleep I went downstairs.  She  joined me  a couple of hours later and lay on the sofa while I was watching football on the television.  After about half an hour she said she wanted to go back to bed for more sleep.

After a short while she came downstairs looking very distressed about getting lost upstairs and not being able to find her way around.  I guessed she was nervous about being upstairs alone, and as it was approaching 9 pm, I joined her in bed.

Maureen awoke around midnight and went to the bathroom.   On her return she seemed very confused; not knowing where she normally slept.  She went downstairs to get a drink and eventually found her way back to our bedroom.   She was clearly unhappy about me being in a bed along with her special  pillow and blanket.  So I made my excuses and removed myself to the spare bedroom.  It seemed one of those occasions when Maureen didn’t know who I was or expect us to share her bed.

A short while afterwards I tentatively entered ‘her bedroom’ as I could here her moving around.   I tried to settle her down again and tidied up her bedding.  She was worried about how to turn the lighting of so I asked her ‘where her torch was?’ and she  said: ‘the trouble with this place is there a no locks on the door and things go missing’. Once she was  was settled in bed I turned off the light. we said: ‘night night’ and  left her too it.

Around 3 am I heard Maureen on the prowl again so I delberately coughed and joined her on the landing.  She asked me if I had found my cough medicine and I realised she knew I was her husband this time.  So quickly going into role as her Tea Boy I kept the ‘door open’ to rejoining her in the marital bed.  Once I appeared with the magic brew I slipped into bed and we had the most amazing conversation which I will relay later, shortly before 10 am.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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