Dementia: Independence or Safety?

I am hoping that today will help me to review my approach to Maureen’s safety and independence. If this morning’s meeting goes as well as I am expecting, some things will be put in place to make our lives simpler.  This might just help me to end the habit of waking up early in the morning and ruminating over outstanding business.  A better sleep pattern would also help me to catch up on some important reading rather than doze off after a few pages.

In the past I have often used Talking Point to find a way forward on our journey with dementia.  I would not have coped without the suggestions and advice I have received from this excellent Forum. However, my meeting with our social worker, and Admiral Nurse, this morning, offers something even better: an opportunity to discuss matters with professional staff who understand dementia, and know us both.

Our focus has to be on steps to maintain Maureen’s progress following stroke. We need to hold to the line that: ‘Maureen is not ill – she is recovering from stroke’. There is considerable evidence that this approach is paying dividends. However,we need to explore further ways on helping Maureen to regain her confidence and independence.  Any regressive movement in the direction of focusing entirely on keeping her safe would be ill advised.

My plans to visit my daughters in London next weekend provide a helpful focus for our discussions. We need to find a way of involving Maureen in conversations about the support she needs in my absence. I have vered towards a safety first: approach suggesting round the clock care while I am away.  Such an approach is inconsistent with attempting to help Maureen regain her confidence, and independence.  This morning is going to be interesting and particularly challenging to your truly:  ‘put your money where your mouth is come to mind!’

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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