Dementia: TINA Now

After the events of this morning there is no alternative but to put some serious issues on the table. Maureen’s scream followed spending time with her eldest son yesterday.  His visits have often led to incidents of extreme distress, and confusion, about who is sharing Maureen’s bed.

Without going into detail Maureen’s previous marriage was a disaster.  Ian’s presence often leads Maureen to think his dad is back on the scene again.

Unless we all take account of this association, and her fear of men, then we will continue to create further distress for Maureen.  Therefore, anyone who drops Maureen off at a Day Centre where there are lots of men needs their head examining.  Particularly, when they know Maureen’s history and her constant anxieties concerning men.

I will need to take advice how to handle  this matter as sensitivities are involved.  It is time for some serious talking about the best way to support Maureen.  I am fed up with my best efforts being undermined by some family members,  Certain people ‘don’t get dementia’:  they continue to bombard Maureen with questions, and dump bad news during phone calls.  We’d almost be better off if they didn’t know our number or where we lived: often Maureen’s reality.   However as they do pussy-footing around on my behalf is not the answer.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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