Dementia: Thank Goodness It’s Friday

There are many reasons to say TGIF because looking back it’s been a relatively good week.  Maureen has had an exceptional week: her continued resilience to have a life with dementia is heartening.  There have been times this week when I have felt on my knees but when I look at the effort my wife puts in: hour after hour, day after day, I am immediately rejuvented.  How on earth can I let tiredness get the better of me when I see my wife rallying against her brain quite simply closing down?

Maureen brought tears of joy to my eyes the other morning when I saw that she was feeling comfortable with new underwear. She sat on the bed looking so pleased that she had found the right level of support and comfort at last.    When she took off her T shirt and put her new bra next to her skin it felt even better.  What a relief after months of bringing underwear back here and rejection almost being an automatic response.

Then there is Maureen’s performance in the marathon.  Something of a personal best without anything that was performance enhancing.  Again seeing her sheer joy walking along; country lanes, corn fields and returning on the coastal path was exhilerating.   As she walked she kept reminding me that she was following medical advice ‘to take lots of exercise’.  I thought after the distance we covered she would be zonked out for days but after a nap or two she has been as right as rain.

Then yesterday we had such a laugh.  I caught her up after she had snook off on a tour around the local estate.  I used my bike to track the happy wanderer down.  It was fascinating to see how she finds her way around a maze of; drives, avenues and streets.  She wandered around a close opposite our house as I put my bike in the garage.  No sooner had we sat down and our front door rang with an enquiry that gave us a laugh for the following hour.

Mrs B called and enquired if Maureen was the blonde that her husband had seen wandering down their drive.  Maureen had no recollection of being anywhere near their house and made appropriate noises.  Mrs B carried on her interrorgation for some time, made her excuses and left.  All in good humour I might add and I tried to put Mrs B’s concerns at rest as I followed her out the door.

After Mrs B had left Maureen and I were in stitches for ages, as I warned her that her husband snatching reputation was alive and kicking.  She warmed to the pun and we had fun for some time afterwards, about the steps she would need to take to make the local women feel safe.

The really good news about Friday is that Chloe will be here at 10 am.  The even better news she will also be here on Saturday for an additional sit.  Tracey our social worker has come up trumps and organised that we will have additonal support tomorrow.  Michelle at the Care Agency has pulled one out of the bag  and organised Chloe our adopted daughter to be here.  It don’t get much better than that!  Well it does: both of Maureen’s sons have been in touch over the last couple of days and they are rallying to the call.

Blimey I would have been in trouble if that girl Heather had read this post before this addition:   I am meeting my Admiral Nurse this morning.  How on earth could I ever forget that Gal?

So TGIF after a relatively good week and the potential for even more support on the horizon.

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About Remember Me

I am a retired adult educator. My wife had a stroke in February 2014 and now has mixed dementia. Her recovery from stroke has been exceptional apart from 50% loss of peripheral vision and vascular damage. 'Dharma For Dementia' is my approach to being Maureem's Care Partner: it aims to end the suffering of 'Prescribed Disengagement' (Swaffer) .
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