The time for beating about the bush with Maureen’s dementia has long gone. It is now time for some straight talking in all quarters. First of all the mix up of diagnosis needs to be straightened out: there needs to be a consensus on mixed or vascular dementia. Then there needs top be clarity over the deal on the table from social services. No care partner should be expected to soldier on in the current vacuum.
I need to bite the bullet and end the prevarication and mystique that is totally frustrating. Social services may need to conduct their own assessment of Maureen’s capacity to satisfy their own masters. That is there business. If they need to go forward on a ‘best interest’ basis so be it. However, I wonder how I figure in their plans? What about my best interests?
My feeling is that primary care givers are left to get on with it until they call time on their deal. That is what I am about to do. I hope I do not have to repeat my tactic of a few weeks ago when I threatened to abandon Maureen unless social services ‘pulled there socks up’. I won’t go into detail here to protect the guilty but my goodness me their incompetence drove me to taking extreme action. Then they failed to impress when under just a little pressure.
So the time for straight talking, and honesty, all round has arrived. I am quite happy to honour my marriage vows: ‘until death do us part’. That does not mean I have to ‘forget about me’ as: a son, father, brother, grandparent and a person in my own right.